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Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

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Featured Essay

Giving Erotic Massage by Unknown
Filed in: sex, massage, learning, erotic massage, sex tips

Relaxing Your Partner's Body Start by connecting with your partner. There may be specific ways you and your partner prefer to do this. If not, try kind words, soft gazing into each other's eyes, synchronized breathing, and/or caressing each others' faces or hands. When both of you are ready, have y[...]

Newest Essays

"My Way or the Highway" by kaela
Filed in: needs, wants, compromise, balance, expectations

As a submissive, I have needs and wants. While it may be difficult to distinguish between the two, I know what makes me tick and what makes me happy. And for me, submitting to my master, pleasing him, surrendering to his will plays a large factor in this. It is not codependence, but [...]

Why staying "in the closet" isn't necessarily a bad thing by Phrodeaux
Filed in: family, bdsm, acceptance, approach, in the closet

The question often comes up when I'm with other BDSM-oriented friends: "What do your family and friends think?The answer, for us at least, is simple: "We've never brought it up."We're not ashamed of our BDSM proclivities. Far from it! We're both very overjoyed that we've found each ot[...]

Five Phases of Punishment by Amsterdam News Desk
Filed in: punishment, discipline, process

Punishing is serious business. And good and effectful domestic punishment should be executed with care, a sharp for ritual and most of all, carefully planned and timed to create optimal effect. Classic domestic discipline can be dedived in five - equally important - phases t[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite, part 2 by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

Jon's Speech Hi, there! Polly has said the bulk of what we want to talk about tonight, but I do have a bit to add. I want to talk some about the two SM life styles, including some good things about the SM subculture--which will proba[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

The following talks were given by Jon and Polly to a diverse audience on the IRC channel #surrender_discuss on October 8, 1996. Polly and Jon were asked to speak on the subject "Defining the BDSM Life Style."DEFINING THE BDSM LIFE STYLE:THE ESSENTIAL PREREQUISITEHello, my name is Polly Pea[...]

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Most Popular Essays

Qualities of A Successful Dominant by Polly Peachum
Filed in: dominance

"The Problems Started After I Moved In" When talking to submissive women about their lives and relationships, the most frequent cause of sorrow and difficulty that gets mentioned is the transition from a non-live-in D&S relationship to a full-time live-in situation. Relationships that[...]

On becoming 'Real' by Bluedeacon
Filed in: inspirational, general knowledge, d/s

Morning, all! I wanted to share something different with the group this morning. From time to time I've seen posts on and offlist about how a person doesn't yet feel like a sub/slave, or a dom/master, and at the party I was noticing the differing things that people did to express this, or to make i[...]

All Wrapped Up In Myself: Mummification Part 2, Safety and Wrapping Choices by Norische
Filed in: health and safety, bondage, mummification

Mummification is an adventure like no other; it can allow one to soar to new heights within their soul or to fall to the deepest depths of their subconscious mind. The time expended for a full mummification is extensive, and with out the senses to rely on, ones mind tends to wander, fantasize or pla[...]

Submissive's Sample Set of Positions for Memorization by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, training, positions

For Submissives of any Gender. Intended for Consensual Fantasy Play Only. ================ "Attention" Positions ================ 0 Standing upright, legs spread moderately, hands clasped behind back, above ass. 1 As 0, but hands are clasped behind neck. ================= Spanking Pos[...]

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist by Norische
Filed in: negotiation, play, checklist

There are a two primary reasons for this checklist, 1) Safety. In all scenes safety should be paramount. This checklist is created to cover health issues, safety issues, as well as personal preferences and experiences. 2) Communication. Sometimes we don\'t quite know all the questions to ask or how [...]

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