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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

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Why Old Guard? by David Masterson
Filed in: old guard

In the late 1940s early 1950s it was reported that a group of WWII veterans came back to the united states to settle into their respective places in society. However, some of these veterans still want[...]

The PLEASURE of the PAIN Why Some People Need S & M - sadomasochistic sex by Marianne Apostolides, Psychology Today, Sept, 1999
Filed in: general knowledge, sm, sadomasochism

Bind my ankles with your white cotton rope so I cannot walk. Bind my wrists so I cannot push you away. Place me on the bed and wrap your rope tighter around my skin so it grips my flesh. Now I know th[...]

Waxing/Candlemaking 101 by SadistOz
Filed in: wax play

Many of us have found that having a lit candle around the house is an enjoyable and calming aspect of decoration. Sometimes I have multiple candles lit around because the glow of the candles is very t[...]

Hair bondage by Author Unknown
Filed in: how-to, bondage

Incorporating the hair in your bondage is appealing to many and for many different reasons. It dramatically increases the feeling of being restrained, it's incredibly intimate and personal, it can be [...]

Ice Play by Naia
Filed in: how-to, ice play

Dear Mistress Naia: I'm interested in playing with ice. How does one actually scene with it? Should it be pleasurable or punishing? I have forbidden myself from quoting any horrendous pseudo-rap that[...]

Orientation 9: Duty / Responsibility by Norische
Filed in: training

It is the duty of each and every slave to be honest. Remember that your word is your honor, and without honor you have no place as a slave. It is the duty of each and every slave to be obedient. Obed[...]

The Joys of Journaling by Kayla Kuffs
Filed in: submission, journaling

You've read this many times in the context of BDSM, COMMUNICATION is one of the most important aspects of a BDSM relationship. It's true. Without good communication your relationship is doomed to fail[...]

Needle Play Tips by Maximus
Filed in: health and safety, needle play

Ten Basic BDSM Principles: 1) BDSM play should be safe, sane and consensual. 2) Know your SM player(s). Do not have BDSM play with strangers. 3) Always inform a friend that you are having BDSM play[...]

Sensuous Caning by Conrad Hodson
Filed in: how-to, caning

INTRODUCTION Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon. To most submissives, they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload. If we have care and patienc[...]

The Best That I Could Do by SirWolfr1
Filed in: inspirational, poetry

The munch had ended in the usual way, With good friends saying their goodbye's in the parking lot. The Doms and the subs, each bidding the other farewell, With exchanged numbers, hugs and soft knowing[...]

Untitled (They said.... You are Woman...) by Author Unknown
Filed in: inspirational

They said... You are Woman ... Go out and conquer the world They said - be strong Don't betray your Sisters You don't need a man You are sufficient unto yourself They said - be strong Don't betray yo[...]

Orientation 11: Discretion by Norische
Filed in: training

Being discrete is something that many of us take for granted; I however, feel that it is necessary to include this subject. Some individuals feel that if you behave in a discrete manner that you are [...]

One Dom's Point of View... by Michael P.
Filed in: dominance, inspirational

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass [...]

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Filed in: inspirational, poetry

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span [...]

Blessed Are They by Author Unknown
Filed in: inspirational

Blessed are the Dominants,whose willingness to exercise responsibility for a submissive is the foundation of our Lifestyle. Blessed is the submissive, whose only true joy and desire is to serve. Ble[...]

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
Filed in: inspirational

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clear[...]

Have You Ever? by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, inspirational

Have you ever knelt, naked, trembling, at your Master's feet....patiently waiting while he picks out the perfect flogger? Have you ever crawled across the floor, crop between your lips, with that ple[...]

Choosing A Master/Mistress by TorqueDom
Filed in: relationships, dominance, dating

All too often, a sub will go with a Master or Mistress after little more than the most cursory conversation. Online and in r/l, this is a recipe for disaster, both mental and physical. * Communicatio[...]

Submissive's Sample Set of Positions for Memorization by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, training, positions

For Submissives of any Gender. Intended for Consensual Fantasy Play Only. ================ "Attention" Positions ================ 0 Standing upright, legs spread moderately, hands clasped [...]

Orientation 12: Patience by Norische
Filed in: training

Patience is the hardest thing for a slave to learn, and hence it must be one of the first things they are introduced too. A slave is always waiting on his or her owner, waiting to serve, waiting to b[...]

Some Rules - submissives by Mystre
Filed in: submission, rules

1. Be patient! A potential Dom{me} will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into cons[...]

A Submissive's Ethics by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, inspirational

"I'm in charge!" This is a realization that some submissives have from the beginning and that hits others like a thunderbolt. The Dominant has Control, but the submissive chooses to be und[...]

What is Subspace? by Lady Tawn
Filed in: submission, subspace

"I have only heard of it, and everything I have read seems to differ. What is it and how do I know I am there? Why would I want to go there? I would love to hear about specific experiences as wel[...]

What makes a healthy submissive? by Yaldah Tovah, M.D.
Filed in: submission, health and safety

1. The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming friendship[...]

Seven Steps to Easy Fisting by Author Unknown
Filed in: how-to, fisting

Yes, you can get your whole hand inside your partner's pussy. For women who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on. No experience is necessary for either of you but if your gal pal [...]

A Complete Erotic Massage (for Men or Women) by Society for Human Sexuality
Filed in: how-to, sex, massage

1. Start by setting the space. The room should be warm enough for someone to be comfortable lying down naked in it (at least 78 degrees). Play some soft music, and possibly burn some incense. Turn off[...]

Anal sex: A Delicate Decision by Cadillac Carter
Filed in: sex, anal sex

What is it about anal sex that makes us squirm? People pretend they don't do it when they do and many of us clam up because we don't. Anal sex is the last sexual act we find embarrassing to talk about[...]

Crash Course in Tantric Sex by Dzy
Filed in: sex

The practice of tantric sex begins with delayed gratification and really has to do with focus. Not a myopic focus on your beloved's genitals, but a really concerted effort to arouse, prolong arousal w[...]

Understanding...Feminine Hygiene by raven
Filed in: health and safety

Vaginal wetness and odor are normal and all women have to contend with it. My goal with this essay is to educate you on what the most common causes are. Give you some guidelines on how to deal with it[...]

Presentation 3: Formal Appearance by Norische
Filed in: training

Formal, what is formal? Formal attire normally refers to eveningwear, or clothing worn for formal occasions. Black tie: Formal occasion, males should wear tuxedoes; females are expected to wear eveni[...]

The Clitoris: A how to of sorts by Author Unknown
Filed in: how-to, sex

I don't know if this is the same for every woman, so bear with me. A random sampling of my girlfriends made up this argument in the form of Public Service Announcement; your results may vary with othe[...]

Kegels by Mistress Steel
Filed in: sex

Many forms of BDSM scening involve or may involve activity to the pelvis, vagina and anus. Since a great number of women entering the lifestyle have had children it is not uncommon for many women to h[...]

Masturbation by Tamar Love
Filed in: how-to, sex

Masturbation used to be an utterly taboo subject. We were told touching ourselves was dirty and wrong, that if we did it we'd go crazy or grow hair on our palms. If these lies were spread to keep us f[...]

I Could Beat You For That, But You Would Enjoy It Too Much: Alternative Punishments That Work by Norische
Filed in: punishment

Punishment by nature is something that is to be avoided, something that is negative; it should be unwelcome and act as a negative motivator. It can be used to motivate a submissive/slave to start beha[...]

Orientation 3: Attitude by Norische
Filed in: training

Attitude is another one of the corner stones that serve as a good foundation for any slave. Remember that the attitude of the slave can very well set the attitude of the house, and hence the atmospher[...]

Orientation 4: Obedience by Norische
Filed in: training

Obedience is a gray area within an owner/slave relationship. To some owners obedience is blind; a slave has no place to question the command of the owner under any circumstances. To me obedience is un[...]

Orientation 5: Honesty by Norische
Filed in: training

Honesty is something that starts long before the slave meets the owner. It begins within the individual. The slave must be able to be honest with him or herself, to know his or her own imperfections, [...]

Take Your Breath Away: Basics of Breath Play by Norische
Filed in: how-to, breath play, beginners

Within the vast selection of BDSM activities not one is as dangerous as breath play. To be quite blunt there is NO safe way to participate in breath play. This is the only activity, that I am aware of[...]

Accumulated Notes About Endorphins by none
Filed in: endorphins, masochism, subspace, play

From http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/dh75en.html Role of endorphins discovered -- 1975 In the 1960s, neurochemist Choh Hao Li at the University of California in San[...]

Ceremony From The Heart: The Collaring Ceremony by Norische
Filed in: collars, ceremony

There comes a time in the life of all, that they feel incomplete, that there is something missing in their lives. Then someone comes into their world and fills the void, someone that has felt the same[...]

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist by Norische
Filed in: negotiation, play, checklist

There are a two primary reasons for this checklist, 1) Safety. In all scenes safety should be paramount. This checklist is created to cover health issues, safety issues, as well as personal preference[...]

Dog Collars are So 90's by Norische
Filed in: collars

There are several different types of collars within the BDSM community, each one with a unique set of requirements, expectations, and rituals. Within the European Council and the Oriental Society ther[...]

Dating in the Lifestyle by luna[KM]
Filed in: d/s, dating

It’s so hard to find someone in the Lifestyle that I’m compatible with. You are so lucky to have found someone. I don’t know how many times I hear this on a daily basis when convers[...]

It's All In Black and White: Contracts I by Norische
Filed in: contracts

What is a BDSM contract? The definition of a BDSM contract is fundamentally a consensual agreement between two or more individuals within a BDSM relationship. A contract defines the roles, rights, an[...]

But We Have A Contract And Everything by Norische
Filed in: slavery, contracts, legal

"Legal Slavery" is it a reality or is it a fantasy. Not long ago I had a young man offer to become my "legal" slave; stating that there are ways, even in today's modern society, th[...]

Jac The Ripper: Basics of Knife Play and Cutting by Norische
Filed in: how-to, knife play

The Touch of Her Master’s Hand By: Mistress Norische As her body trembles in anticipation, fear, and pain…she knows. As the touch of cold steel entices a gasp…she knows. As the[...]

Mystique De Lavage: The Basics of Enemas by Norische
Filed in: how-to, enemas

What is an Enema? An enema is the procedure of introducing liquids into the bowel via the anus. Enemas can be carried out for medical reasons, as part of alternative therapies, and also for erotic pu[...]

Orientation 6: Communication by Norische
Filed in: training

It is the responsibility of the slave to learn how to communicate properly and to appropriately. Good communication is a key element for an owner/slave relationship. There are a few simple instruction[...]

Orientation 7: Respect by Norische
Filed in: training

"Respect as defined by Webster's Dictionary may be used as a verb or noun, and comes from two Latin combinations: re-, back + specere, look at). Our modern meanings include: 1. to feel or show ho[...]

Orientation 8: Trust by Norische
Filed in: training

The first thing that must be stated about trust is that it is a critical portion of BDSM. From the moment a slave is cuffed and blindfolded he or she is helpless and at the complete mercy of the owner[...]

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