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Ceremony From The Heart: The Collaring Ceremony

Author: Norische

Filed in: collars, ceremony

There comes a time in the life of all, that they feel incomplete, that there is something missing in their lives. Then someone comes into their world and fills the void, someone that has felt the same emptiness, someone that understands. Today is just such a day, today souls will combine and lives will be made whole, we invite you to share with us this day and the joy it brings to our hearts.

Slave is presented nude to all those present, devoid of all jewelry or worldly possessions. Slave should present in a kneeling position with head bowed and hands clasped behind her back. At my command the slave should rise and face the witnesses.

With this water the past is washed away. All the pain, fear, loneliness and sorrow that has weighted your soul for so long is washed from you.

Take bowl of warm water and place into slave\'s hands, have her hold bowl while you use sponge to wash slave; start with feet and move upward.

With this smoke your prayers and dreams are lifted to the sky for all those that are touched by it may know what is within your heart.

Take bowl from slave and give slave goblet with lit votive candle in it, take incense stick or smudge stick and light it on the candle, take large feather and direct the smoke toward the slave, make sure to start at the feet and work your way up the body, try and cover all parts of the body with the smoke.

With this oil I seek the blessings of the Father; I pledge my heart, my mind and my soul to your well being. I give freely all that I am and all that I ever will be.

Take candle from slave and give slave bottle of oil, have the slave pour a moderate amount of oil into your hands. Then starting with the feet rub the oil all over the slave.

With this fur I seek the blessings of the Mother; I pledge my knowledge, my protection, and my property to your well being, to guide you, protect you and provide for you and all your needs.

Take bottle of oil from slave and pick up rabbit fur, start at the feet and rub the fur over the slave\'s entire body, pay special attention to the face, neck and hands.

With this collar I take you as my own, my property body and soul. By accepting this collar you are giving these things to me freely. You are aware and accept all that this collar represents and give to me all this is your\'s to give.

Have slave kneel before you, place collar around slave\'s neck but do not fasten collar until the slave has made the affirmation of her devotion. Fasten the collar and hand one key to the slave and keep one key for yourself.

This is the collaring ceremony I wrote for myself and my slave, betsy; a few modifications had to be made to the original ceremony due to her total knee replacement.

A collaring ceremony is a special time in the life of a Master/Mistress as well as the slave/sub; a collar is a sign of devotion, obedience and acceptance.

There are several different types of collars within the BDSM community, each one with a unique set of requirements, expectations, and rituals. Within the European Council and the Oriental Society there are two basic forms of collars, a slave collar and a training collar. While these traditions are historically noted there are several other forms of collars that have made themselves know in the past decade.

The common denominator with all collars is that they represent a new phase of the relationship between two consenting individuals. No matter what type of collar that is involved it denotes a major transition in the relationship.

Most collars are given during a collaring ceremony. This can be as small as just the Master/Mistress and the slave/sub or as grand as any formal event. Normally there are at least two witnesses unless of course for some reason a private ceremony is desired. One of the most popular collaring ceremonies is called the Ceremony of The Roses.

The Ceremony of The Roses is ancient with a rich and wondrous history, full of fabulous symbolism and ritual; individuals both within the BDSM realm and those from without have performed this ceremony.

The ceremony itself is rather simple, all that is necessary is…

* The Master/Mistress and the slave
* A white rose, not fully opened and with thorns if possible
* A red rose fully opened and with thorns
* A length of chain
* A candle or alcohol lamp
* A collar
* A vase
* And one or two witnesses if desired

The submissive carries the white rose, sometimes it is rather difficult to find a white rose with thorns, and hence if it is not available then the Master/Mistress\'s rose may be used. Both roses must be freshly cut.

The white rose the slave carries represents the slave\'s innocence and should be only partially opened. The red rose that the Master/Mistress carries represents his/her heart; the fact that the rose is fully open represents the openness of his/her heart and willingness to let another into his or her heart.

The Master/Mistress will walk to the table first, and place his/her rose upon the table in front of the lit candle or alcohol lamp. The slave walks into the area carrying his/her rose and approaches the table to stand beside the Master/Mistress, the slave will then place the white rose so that its stem is crossing the red rose. The Master/Mistress will take the collar and pass it through the flame of the candle or alcohol lamp to purify it; then turning to face the slave, he/she will then place the collar around the slave\'s neck. As he/she is doing this, the Master/Mistress will declare to protect and guide the slave for eternity. The slave will pick up his or her white rose, and the Master/Mistress will then pick up the red rose. With a thorn from the red rose the Master/Mistress will prick the slave\'s finger and let two drops of blood fall on the white petals of the white rose. This symbolizes the Master/Mistress taking the slave body and soul. The slave then offers the white rose to the Master/Mistress whom repeats the procedure and allows two drops of his/her blood to fall onto the white rose, one above the slave\'s and one on top of the slave\'s blood. The first drop signifies the Master/Mistresses willingness to shed his or her blood to protect the slave; the second seals their unity. The Master/Mistress and the slave then press their fingers together vowing to become one in flesh and blood. The witness(s) or friends that are in attendance then take the length of light chain and pass it quickly through the flame and wrap it around the couple. Each link in the chain represents a step they took, a moment they shared, a dream made manifest…all of which brought them to this moment in time.

Then the couple will vow that their souls will be bound together for all eternity. The roses are then touched together so that the blood on the slaves becomes their blood on the Master/Mistress\'s rose. To signify their unity they now exchange their roses, neither owning the part that they came into the ceremony with. The chain is then removed and wrapped in cloth and presented to the couple when the ceremony has ended. The couple will keep the chain until they find another couple whom they feel as worthy and use the chain at their ceremony, it is a great honor to receive the chain of ones who have gone on before you. The couple then put their roses into a single vase, later the vase is taken to their room and it will remain as a reminder to them of the new body they have formed as they consummate the joining. The next morning they will take turns plucking the petals of both roses, while talking about their hopes and dreams for the future, they will place the petals in a container together. These petals are kept together throughout their lifetime and a portion of them is buried with each in death.

There are many variations to the Ceremony of The Roses, so this is by no means an absolute reference. However, the main structure of the ceremony remains consistent throughout time.

Another example of a collaring ceremony would be the one in which I was collared. I spent my first three years in the BDSM lifestyle as a slave. I hated every minute of it; but I must admit that I would not have given it up for anything. An individual that was considered Old Guard trained me; his name was Walter Crabtree. I lost my Master/Mentor in 1992 when he was killed by a drunk driver.

After much coercion and discussion he agreed to take me on as an apprentice of sorts, and explained what I had to do in order to become a Master, (he never differentiated between genders all owners were Masters and to be called Sir). I remember my collaring ceremony with him very well; it was my first day in hell.

I was kneeling naked in the center of the room. The only individuals present were Walter's two slaves jeff and drew, Walter and myself. I thought it was a little odd at the time that I was the only one in the room that was not wearing clothing, since normally the boys were nude; but for the ceremony they both were dresses to the hilt with black jeans and black t-shirts and their best boots shined to a high gloss. jeff wore his arm band that was reserved for special occasions; drew had not earned his band yet. Walter ordered jeff to tie my hands behind my back and to secure my ankles, which he did. Walter then ordered drew to blindfold me, which he did with an odd smirk on his face, later I found out why. Then Walter took out a very big dog collar, and started walking around me asking all sorts of questions.

"Did I understand the responsibility of what I was about to do?"

"Did I realize that from the moment that he put the collar around my neck that I was a reflection of him, all my actions would fall back on him?"

"Did I understand the meaning of a slave, and did I accept all his terms and conditions of slavery in his house?"

"Did I accept him as a Master, Mentor and Teacher?"

After each question I thought…and answered yes. I had seen him work with his slaves, and I knew the discipline, the respect and the devotion they had for him…and more than anything else I wanted that. When he was satisfied with my answers he placed the collar around my neck and locked it into place. The steel of the collar was icy cold around my neck, I actually wondered if he had put it in the freezer for a while before putting it on me. I was covered in goose bump and shivering, I couldn't decide if it was from the cold metal or from the excitement of the moment. The next thing I knew a warm wet liquid was being sprayed at me, at first I thought I was being hosed down or something, then the smell hit me, Walter was urinating on me…as a sign of ownership, marking his territory if you may. As soon as I realized what he was doing I began to struggle against the bindings, but to know avail…jeff had quite a bit of experience at knots was very good at it. I began yelling and cussing Walter out …hence leading to my first experience of discipline within this lifestyle. I spent the evening on my knees scrubbing the hard wood floor in his "study", yelping with every move I made, I was not permitted to bath until I had cleaned the floor to perfection. Hell…day one.

While these are just three different examples of a collaring ceremony there are many, many others that have been used over the centuries; each unique and wondrous in its own right. Some include the reading and signing of a contract, some do not. Others involve a slave dance of sorts, to entice or seduce rather the Master/Mistress into taking them as a slave. Others involve a tribute of some form given by the slave to the Master or Mistress to confirm their worthiness to be taken as a slave. Still others involve the marking of ones territory by blood, or urine.

Every ceremony I have been involved in has added greatly to my life, each has given me a new outlook on my life. Each has led to a new adventure, and new chapter in my existence.

When you decide to move to the next stage in your relationship, take time to explore some of the many different types of collaring ceremonies, maybe even consider writing your own. Find something that fits your relationship, and the personality of those involved. It doesn't have to be flashy or grand, it doesn\'t have to be complex or rich in history and symbolism…all that is required is that it satisfies the needs of those involved.

As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at…. in the files section.


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