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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

Essays Tagged: Etiquette



Play Party Etiquette by Non-Famous Lauren
Filed in: etiquette, protocol, play

The goal of this post is not so much to state playparty "rules" as to describe playparty customs and etiquette that often are not stated in the rules.

Afternoon Tea 1: An Experience in British Tea Service by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Tea: A History While there are volumes of information about the rich and illustrious tradition of Tea Time in Britain, information of the earliest introduction of tea to England and its associates ar[...]

Afternoon Tea 2: What will you serve, and how to serve it? by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

Now that the basics have been covered lets move on to the invitation, menu and serving of a proper Afternoon tea. Invitations Invitations should be sent 10 to 14 days in advance, this should ensure [...]

Afternoon Tea 3: Recipes: From Traditional to Exotic by Norische
Filed in: how-to, ritual, etiquette, service, protocol

There are many excellent recipes out there that are completely acceptable when it comes to a traditional British Afternoon Tea; the following are just a few suggestions that one might consider. While [...]

Every ROSE Has A Thorn: Honor, Respect and Protocol Amongst Dominants by Norische
Filed in: dominance, rules, etiquette, protocol

A personal story about honor and respect

Etiquette For Public Play by laynie
Filed in: etiquette, play

One would think that before one goes out to play, whether to a public club or a private play party, that one would take the time to educate themselves on proper public etiquette. Since this is often not the case I have decided to do some research and compile a list of rules for public behavior.

An Esoteric View: Civility and Incivility in The Scene by Master Eso
Filed in: etiquette, scene

This rather lengthy essay is a direct response to "Sorry Manners: Civility and Incivility in the Scene", by Chris M (Black Rose) and Lady Medora (NOPE), and my own experiences with the BDSM community and groups, after countless hours of contemplation, conclusions, and soul searching.

Establishing a Protocol by Laura Antoniou
Filed in: training, rules, etiquette, protocol, behavior

A Primer for initiating a protocol within your relationship

How to Negotiate Play Parties, For Men by Peppermint
Filed in: etiquette, negotiation, protocol, play parties

I hold sex parties, and at every sex party, it seems like some guy messes up and pisses off some woman. In most cases, he is a perfectly nice and not at all creepy fellow who just screwed up slightly[...]