The Thinking Dominant

I’m on a break, be back with more thoughtful prompts on September 16th!

Describe a clothing preference you have for yourself or your partner.

1. Does it have s story of its inception?
2. Is it a fetish or just a preference?
3. Why do you like this form or article of dress?

In a previous post you decided on a couple characteristics that you’d like to develop further as  you grow as a Dominant. Continuing on that subject this post is going to focus on following through on your plans.

Bring out your action plan and begin putting it into action. Remember this is your personal plan so changes in your partner are not what this is about. (If you need help coming up with the action plan, go back and read the previous post.)

Go step by step and practice what you’d like to improve. You do not need to go full steam ahead right at first. For example, if your action plan involves learning Florentine flogging, you won’t go right out and start swinging 2 floggers. Learn and strengthen your single flogging method first, strengthen your non-dominant arm, go to classes and get one on one assistance to learn the right way to do this.

Write about each step as you progress, making sure to note what other things you may have missed in your action plan that you now need to include. Make these minor steps part of your plan in progress. All of these will improve your character, behavior or technique

• Top 10 things I really enjoy doing in a scene as a top.
• Top 10 things you worry about going wrong during a scene.
• Top 10 things you want your bottom to do during a scene.
• Top 10 things play things you want to master for scenes.

In the previous post we pulled together a list of activities, behaviors and characteristics that we have as dominants. In this list we identified (hopefully) which ones we’d like to develop further. The next step is setting up a plan of action to strengthen these characteristics. Analyzing moderate steps to the ultimate goal will help you grow slowly and achieve more balance.

Let’s take a basic task for an example. Say you want to improve your behavior surrounding how you dole out punishments. You’d like to be more focused and ultimately be able to express forgiveness more fully when the punishment is complete. You’ve found that this final stage has been difficult for you in previous situations and you’d like to be able to develop it better.

1. The first step may be to show firmness when handing down punishment and not wavering if there is struggle with your submissive in accepting this punishment.
2. The next step could be actually completing said punishment. It could be from making sure the task is performed successfully to providing they physical punishment yourself. There should be control in this action.
3. Next you want to be able to convey forgiveness to your submissive for their actions and the success of completing the punishment.
4. Lastly you need to forgive them and move on. The situation is over and should not be brought up again.

In this way you can see that each step brings you closer to how you’d like to behave and how your character will develop as you reach each step.

Take one of the activities, characteristics or behaviors you’d like to develop further and set up your own steps for development. Make them as concise as you possibly can. We’ll begin following and reporting on your progress in future posts.

Hello Everybody,
Just a quick note to announce that the new edition of The Dominant’s
View is now available at a computer new you!

http://www.thedomsview.com

The most important thing you should know is we now have a new Co-
editor who will be sharing the job of running the zine and who will
eventually take it over. Read more about that in the Editorial and
learn about our new Co-editor in this issue’s D.O.M.

Beyond that, we’ve gone back to our regular format as the zine will
be published regularly again. So, this is what you’ll find this
issue:

Articles:
Degradation by ShatteredSoul
Busting the Myth Busters by Mistress Rana
Us versus Them by LeatherProf
Power Exchange: Strong Women Giving Power by Gev

In the Dungeon Bill talks about Fisting

Our columnists include:
Getting Started with Rick Umbaugh
Mistress’s Musings with Mistress Rana
Switch’s Corner with Bill
Sub Missives with Shadow

We interview Mistress LunaSea a professional dominatrix, and you can
look at the Chainsaw Chuck’s wonderful BDSM art. We have fresh
erotica and some great articles in our Odds n Sods department.

This is our first collaborative issue, and we both hope you will
enjoy it and tell all your friends to come by to visit!

We look forward to seeing you there!

SG and Kayla
Co-editors
The Dominant’s View

You’ve come to a time in your Dominant development where you feel that you have nothing else to expand on and your abilities are as developed as you can get them. Where do you go from here? Do you concede that you just can’t do any more within the extent of your mind or emotions?

Not exactly. Exploring limits is not just for the submissive. A dominant has just as much ability to expand and develop as a submissive. You can be more than you are. It takes effort and it takes a desire to see yourself as more than you are.

Say for example that you aren’t content with yourself; that your control over your submissive has leveled out, things are going well but you want to do more, s/he has expressed a desire to go further but you just don’t know how. How do you get started in your own development?

The next few posts will be about finding the next step and taking it.

With every step you can find more about yourself that you can develop and work towards another dominant version of yourself. This is not a course to change who you are; it is a way to open up your vision to see who you already are. To develop yourself further.

First lets think about why you feel stuck. Trust me, everyone has times like this. You may even be depressed about it. You may think that you aren’t really dominant and that this lifestyle isn’t for you. It could also be a turning point in your relationship.

When did you begin to feel stuck in a rut?

Where are you in your dominance?

Try this writing exercise:

Write down on paper the traits and descriptions of what you do now that make you a dominant. List activities you do as well as behaviors you have adopted. Star the ones that you feel are well developed and you have a good handle on. Take a look at the ones that do not have stars on them. Answer the following questions:

1. What items on the list do you feel need to be developed more?
2. How would these items enhance your strengthen your current relationship or character?
3. Where could you get advice, knowledge or information about developing these skills?

Define your limits. Explain why you can’t or won’t go past that point and try to think about things that were once limits but are not any longer. This list can be a working list that you come back to often to update.

1. How do you express your disappointment with your partner? Has it ever led to anger?
2. How do you deal with your anger?
3. Whether it is directed or a result of something within your relationship or if it is outside forces, how do you release that anger?

I’m a talker. Others are silent introspective. I know still others that have to by physical in either exercise or sex. Everyone has their ways of dealing with anger.

I read an interesting post the other day about the administration of pain and the sadistic dominant’s desire to inflict pain on the submissive. His exact question is: “Does a dominant want to hurt his submissive?” I was going to include my thoughts here for a moment, but I find that I don’t want to influence any one else’s.

In thinking about this question try to join your thoughts with why you are or are not a sadist.

• How does a dominant enhance the sensation of pain a submissive would feel?
• What are your favorite forms of pain to inflict?
• Describe what goes on in your mind during a pain session.