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"I have only heard
of it, and everything I have read seems to differ. What is it and how do I know
I am there? Why would I want to go there? I would love to hear about specific
experiences as well as the concept in general."
Good questions *s*… so many D/sers seem to use the words subspace and/or
"diving" and/or "flying" that I think it is very easy to
assume that everyone ELSE knows what they mean but I have a strong feeling that
all of the above are used as a kind of personal shorthand to describe the
varying combinations of "head trips" experienced by submissives
(dependent upon their own personality, desires, partner(s) and of course the
scene itself).
I have been thinking about this for a while now and I suggest that the altered
states experienced in submission fall very roughly into five categories as
follows -
Endorphin highs
This is probably the easiest state to explain rationally. When we experience
pain (and/or fear) the body releases endorphins which help us to cope with the
"assault". One of the other rather nice side effects of endorphins are
that they can produce a delicious "natural" high which can vary from a
warm floaty feeling to intense screaming euphoria. I have almost no doubt that
what some submissives describe as diving/flying is very largely endorphin based
but there are other more complicated elements to consider…
Euphoria
There is no doubt that endorphin highs can produce euphoric feelings but I
believe that submission itself, the joy of overcoming the difficulties and
succeeding in the true, conscious desire to submit can also bring one to a
euphoric state.
Sexuality
The desire to submit is almost always connected with (if not limited by) our
sexuality and submission can be a huge sexual "kick" in itself. I
think it would be wrong to ignore the fact that the "simple" act of
submitting to a greater/stronger power can make your heart beat faster, get you
wet between the legs and generally send your mind into a sexual spin of its own.
Headspace
The submissive headspace… what some might call subspace… once this point is
reached, I feel submission is not only easier, it even becomes difficult (if not
impossible) NOT to submit (which is incidentally why a sub in this space needs
to be handled with special care). Quite how one reaches this state seems to vary
for everyone but I would describe it as a very trusting, accepting and peaceful
place… in a deep headspace even communication can become difficult… To me,
at the time, it often feels as if I am losing focus and yet I am also aware that
focus with a trusted partner is vital and I don’t believe I would ever reach
that place without its existence.
Nirvana
Primarily in the philosophical as opposed to any religious sense however I
wanted to use that word because to me this state (which is closely related to
headspace above, but possibly other states too) comes close to what I understand
one can achieve through meditation in that it is total focus without focus. All
sorts of other paradoxes spring to mind to explain this feeling… total freedom
through total control… joy in pain… power in submission… strength in
weakness… heightened consciousness with a loss of awareness… a sense of self
through losing oneself… laffin at myself… I am not sure anyone else will
identify with this but for me I guess THIS is true subspace…
SO… to try and end this rambling… I cant tell you what subspace is for you…
I doubt that anyone really could…. How will you know when you get there? Well
you might "just know" and on the other hand it might take a while to
realise it. Why would you want to go there? I don’t know but I will say this…
do not look upon achieving "subspace" as your goal… your prize for
submission… because in my experience the more one looks for it the harder it
is to find. Instead, concentrate on doing what feels good and right to YOU and
if that involves true submission then subspace will find you eventually.
Related Books
click on the books for more information
Erotic Surrender |
Screw the Roses |
The Bottoming Book |
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