Honorifics, Titles and Respect
Author: Master Eso
Filed in: speech, protocol
When a slave or submissive is "asked" to call all Dominants Sir or Ma'am they are not being forced to show added respect, beyond basic respect or common courtesy.
The use of Sir or Ma'am is not all or exclusively about respect. "Respect" does not mean "submission". It's about conveying honor as a title or grammatical form used in speaking to or about a superior or elder. These are called "Honorifics". As there is a "Hierarchy" in the BDSM Lifestyle as is in any Master/Mistress – slave/sub relationship, Dominants are "superior" to slaves/submissives in this hierarchy.
Granting others the place, title or address they have chosen for themselves does not make you indebted to them, nor does it indicate your full agreement with their ways.
Neither respect nor proper address should be used as a “gift”. It should simply be offered. Neither respect nor proper address needs to be earned or deserved or dangled around like a reward. Basic respect and with that civility should be given, freely, without conditions, until proven otherwise. Everyone deserves respect, until they prove themselves unworthy of it.
When addressing or referring to a Dominant by name the slave/submissive should do so with use of the Dominants "Honorific" such as for example Sir Doe, Ms Doe, Master Doe, Sir or Mistress Doe, Ma’am.
Sir and Ma'am are often used for referring to any male or female Dominant, while Master and Mistress, without an accompanying name, is usually reserved for the owner of the sub/slave. To address a Master or a Mistress as such, who is not one's owner, the name of that particular Master/Mistress should accompany the title, as in Master Doe, Sir or Mistress Doe, Ma’am.
Although it might not be generally common in the mainstream BDSM community, it is suggested that Dominants between themselves should address or refer to each other at a level chosen by themselves, when addressing or referring to another Dominant by name, such as for example Sir Doe, Ms Doe, Master Doe or Mistress Doe.
Whenever in doubt as to address someone of who's status one is unsure, a simple Sir, Miss or Ma'am, should be appropriate, unless one is informed otherwise.
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Anyone wishing to use this article on their site or mailing list may do so as long as the article remains unchanged and my name and email address remain on them. Giving credit where it belongs. MasterEso@esodom.com
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