Controlling the Slave
Author: lauraTVFiled in: dominance, submission, training
Although these suggestions were written specifically for the Mistress of a feminized male slave, many of them may be applied to a broad range of Dominant/submissive relationships.
It is important for both Mistress and slave to understand that some of the rules and requirements imposed upon him by Her will have to be temporarily suspended at times in order to maintain discretion. Both Mistress and slave should be very clear on exactly what situations call for what level of discretion so that both may act accordingly.
There are a number of ways Mistress can control Her slave at all times, even from a distance. Of course, there are times when physical discipline is required, and if such an occasion arises, one of two courses of action will have to be taken: 1) punishment is deferred until Mistress's return; 2) the slave gets away with his/her transgression. Perhaps getting away with a transgression without undergoing the deserved physical punishment is a just compensation for enduring Mistress's absence. Then again, perhaps not.
There are ways to punish Your slave even from a distance. So long as the slave faithfully follows instructions, except for occasional lapses requiring corrective measures, this isn't a difficulty. Punishments of this form are usually "denial of privileges." A slave may be prohibited from masturbating or forbidden to engage in a desired recreational activity, such as getting on-line or watching television, or engaging in fetish activity, such as wearing panties.
If a slave has become exceptionally willful, there are two options open to Mistress. Mistress may employ a proxy, another Dominant local to the slave, to inflict punishment. It is the fortunate Mistress who has such an option open to Her. The other option is extreme, and may be as much a trial for Mistress as for Her slave: completely ignore the slave for a time. This would be the long-distance equivalent of putting the slave in the corner. Mistress must ignore all email correspondence, deny phone or IRC/ICQ/IM contact, etc., for the full period specified by Mistress, probably a number of days. If this method fails to bring about an improvement in the slave's behavior, the slave is probably unsuitable for service.
The suggestions contained in the following paragraphs are not intended as punishment, but rather as a method for Mistress to make her presence felt by Her slave at all times. Of course, Mistress may use this information in any manner She deems appropriate. Many of these suggestions should work equally well whether Mistress is physically present or not.
Determine what Your slave wears. This may range from simply instructing your slave to always wear panties under his clothes to selecting his entire outfit each day. A middle ground would be for Mistress to select Her slave's panties each day, perhaps the night before if She doesn't need or wish to arise at the same time as Her slave.
Any clothing items purchased by or for the slave should be selected by Mistress. Ideally, every article of the slave's clothing will have been purchased at the direction of Mistress. There is one possible exception. In the purchase of panties, or any female garment purchased for the slave's wear, Mistress may wish to send Her slave alone to make the purchase, possibly watching from a distance. If Mistress disapproves of Her slave's selection, She can always instruct him to exchange the item.
Regarding the purchase for personal use of female clothing by the male slave, some slaves are more ill at ease making such purchases alone, others when accompanied by Mistress or another female. Mistress should be aware of which situations cause Her slave distress and which don't, and issue Her instructions according to Her desired result.
Mistress should enforce honesty in Her slave at all times, not just with Herself but also when dealing with others, within the limits imposed by discretion. Note that this does not necessarily mean total disclosure to others, although Mistress may decide that this is appropriate under certain circumstances. For example, if a sales clerk inquires point-blank if the panties Your slave is purchasing are for him, he should answer truthfully. If one of Your slave's co-workers has cause to make a similar inquiry, it should probably best be denied. Of course the slave should be expected to practice full disclosure to Mistress at all times. A slave has no secrets from his Owner. Conversely, while Mistress is by no means required to tell all, the slave should never be lied to.
A feminized slave should always be wearing some garment of female clothing, or be in contact with something exclusively feminine. Any item exclusively masculine should be purged from the slave's life. If there is a choice between a feminine item and a gender-neutral item, the feminine item should be selected. This includes nightwear, deodorant, hair care products, bath soap and razors, to name a few.
Certain controls should be placed on a slave's freedom of choice at all times. One of the most effective is to prohibit the slave from masturbating without the express consent of Mistress. A horny slave is an eager to please slave. This can be expanded into prohibiting the slave to touch his genitals at any time, except when washing and shaving, without Mistress's permission. This includes using the toilet, which dovetails nicely with the suggestion that the feminized slave sit, like a female, when using the toilet for any reason.
The slave should keep his genitals and legs shaved as a sign of his submission and expression of his femininity, respectively. Mistress may desire for Her slave to keep other areas shaved as well.
The slave should address his Mistress with the utmost respect at all times, referring to her only as "Mistress." In written communication to and about Mistress, the slave should capitalize all references to Mistress, includingpronouns (She, Her) and place in lower case any reference to himself, including the pronoun "i" and any pronoun that is the first word of a sentence.
The slave should remember his place at all times. That is usually slightly behind and to Her side when standing and walking, and sitting or kneeling at Her feet when She is sitting. Sitting at the same level as Mistress should be reserved for special occasions, such as a reward.
Mistress may wish to extend this to the bedroom as well. This may result in the slave's sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed, possibly chained to it, or it may simply mean that Mistress gets a pillow and Her slave doesn't.
Bedtime and waking are excellent times for Mistress to impose rituals upon Her slave designed to increase his feelings of submission to Her. Bedtime is especially ripe with possibilities due to the fact that it is usually free of the time constraints frequently encountered upon waking.
Some suggested requirements for the slave at bedtime and overnight: require him to wear a nightgown, butt plug, collar, etc. or combination; restrict his movements by binding him in some manner, but such that he can still sleep and won't be stiff and sore upon waking; have him undress You and put away Your clothes and help You into Your nightclothes; say his evening devotions to You; anything You desire which will elicit the desired response in Your slave and may be ritualized.
Some suggested requirements for the slave upon waking: have him wake You in the manner of Your choosing, whether with morning coffee at your bedside, gently stroking your body, cunnilingus, etc.; morning devotions; the slave could be compelled to masturbate to orgasm at this time, as the morning shower is a good place to clean up any mess; anything Mistress desires to
kick-start Your slave into a new day of total submission to You.
Sex with Her slave is a very personal decision on Mistress's part. Depending on Her sexual appetites and preferences, Mistress may desire to use Her slave's tongue much more than his cock. Or the slave may enjoy the privilege of Mistress enveloping his cock on a regular basis. Even then, the slave may be denied the pleasure of orgasm while enveloped by Mistress. If the slave is permitted the great favor of achieving orgasm while within Mistress, but that release should come too soon for Mistress's pleasure, Mistress should not hesitate to put Her slave's tongue to work until She is satisfied. In sexual contact more than anywhere else it is Mistress's pleasure that is paramount and the slave must be made to fully understand this by any means necessary. The true submissive will not be distressed at
pursuing Mistress's pleasure to the exclusion of his own, because Mistress's pleasure is his pleasure.
The preceding suggestions are by no means the only way in which Mistress can exert control over Her slave, nor is there any reason Mistress must feel compelled to use any of the above techniques. Nor should Mistress feel that it is necessary to use all of the above suggestions at once in order to control Her slave. To do so may be too much, too fast, causing the slave to rebel. Techniques could be applied in rotation and those that Mistress deems effective be retained while discarding the others. Ultimately the decision rests with Mistress, as she is the sole responsible party where the treatment of Her slave is concerned.
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