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Orientation 8: Trust

Author: Norische

Filed in: training



The first thing that must be stated about trust is that it is a critical portion of BDSM. From the moment a slave is cuffed and blindfolded he or she is helpless and at the complete mercy of the owner. The slave must trust the owner with their very life, one slip of a knife they could be just another statistic, one hit in the wrong place and they are damaged for life. A slave must know they trust the owner to make sure that they are not harmed, and are kept safe.

Everyone talks about the amount of trust a slave must have and the risk that they put themselves in on a daily basis, but trust is not a one sided blade. The owner must trust the slave, as much as the slave must trust the owner. An owner must trust the slave that he or she will not get upset with the owner and run to the authorities and report them for anything from rape to kidnapping and attempted murder. Months, even years after a slave is removed from service he or she can still lodge a complaint against a previous owner and at the least destroy that individual's reputation and at the most have the individual incarcerated. Trust is not something that cannot be taken for granted, nor should it be taken lightly.

When making arrangements to meet someone, both owner and slave alike, must trust that the other individual is being honest about their intentions, experience, abilities, and their past. If a slave states they have 30 yrs experience, the owner must take the slave at his or her word and trust that the slave understands the ramifications of their statement and not embellish, exaggerate, or mislead the owner. Just as when an owner states that they have had three slaves previously, the slave trusts that the owner honestly has had three slaves, not cyber slaves but real time slaves.

It takes time to build trust, time to nurture it and to form the bonds necessary to give oneself without reservation. It takes but one moment in time to loose all the trust that has been built so carefully, and tended to with such diligence. Unfortunately, sometimes that trust can be given when it is not deserved; the best advice I can give is to follow one's instincts. If your instincts tell you not to trust someone, then use caution…never assume anything and always ask questions.

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