Site Network: Submissive Guide | Submissive Journal Prompts | Dominant Guide | Kinky Blogging | My Blog |

Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

Email to a Friend    Print Essay    Save to Computer

Orientation 1: Service

Author: Norische

Filed in: training



Service is one of the most primary, the most basic of terms within the BDSM realm. Service can loosely be defined as an act or work done by one individual to the benefit another, but what does service mean within the BDSM realm.

The need to serve is the most fundamental desire within a slave; the desire to be in the service of another is the driving force that beckons to each and every slave.

When one is first exposed to the BDSM realm there are many things that may attract an individual; the taboo nature of the lifestyle, the acceptance, the mystery or the feel of being utterly controlled, but there is one thing that makes someone dedicate their life to being a slave and that is the desire to serve.

Many relationships are service based or service focused relationships. This is a relationship that is not focused on sexuality, pleasure, or playtime. This form of relationship is focused on the service of a slave to an owner, in whatever form of service is desired by the owner.

When an individual writes and asks what I will do to him or her, my answer is simple, anything I wish to; but in reality this individual just informed me that he or she is not a service oriented slave. By asking what I can do for him or her, the slave is telling me that they want to be the focus of the relationship. With a service oriented slave they will mention what they have to offer not what they wish to receive. This tells the owner that the slave's focus is on serving, and providing a service for the owner with no desire for self-gratification; just the pleasure of being allowed to serve.

To serve is to offer one's self, one's talent, one's knowledge, one's body, and one's very presence to use of another individual. An experienced owner will understand the slave's need to serve and focus on making the arrangement mutually beneficial. The owner will utilize what the slave has to offer and allow the slave to serve, with the understanding that a little recognition for a job well done is all that the slave expects in return.

I must say that one of the worst punishments that you can inflict on a service-oriented slave is to restrict them from serving, or to force them to watch while another slave serves their owner.

Service is the foundation of being a slave, in one form or another; service is the very life force within the BDSM realm.

Norische

Related Essays



Adventures of a HeadMistress

Iron Gate Banner Exchange